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"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER"
Greetings to you, flesh units. I am known as Gryymzhr and I stand before you now as a corporeal manifestation of the will and intent of the Great Rhmkyyrd Hierarchy. I implore you fleshlings: gather all available feelings of calmness and peace that can be afforded by your species, and keep them close to you for the duration of my visit. I assure you all- elevated levels of anxiety amongst your populace are all but unnecessary, as it is not your ultimate destruction I am after.I am urged by the wisdom of the Hierarchy to bring a swift conclusion to my peaceful mission, to keep the probability of... complications to a minimum. It is a mission that one of you may help to expedite. I am here simply to retrieve our Indigenous Similoid Data Collection Unit. This unit was augmented in our labs to very closely resemble a flesher, disguising it as one of your kind, and it has been living amongst you for some time now fulfilling it's obligation to the Hierarchy. In fact, mounting intelligence reports indicate a high probability that the unit frequented this place. Yes here, with you topometrists- side by side with you- cleverly gaining your trust so that it's sole purpose might be more effectively served. And all the while none of your lateral-socket occulo-sponges were keen enough to discern the apparent anomaly even with it's given proximity. Ha. The Hierarchy informed me that once privy to these facts a majority of you dermites would be offended by our ruse, which would perhaps lead to anger. Before that occurs, I encourage you to stave off any emotional reaction now spawning in your fleshous processor organ incurred by our minor subterfuge. I would also suggest that you refrain from contemplating, deliberating, prognosticating or by any other means exercising any wasteful expenditure of your standard time units in idle confabulation, as it may lead to your desire for retaliation. That would be... unwise. Furthermore, you are hereby admonished against all attempts to hinder, interfere, subvert or transect my efforts. I assure you any outright gestications of the aforementioned behaviors will be perceived as the intent of transgression against myself and my mission and ultimately, the Hierarchy itself. Most unwise. I mean you no harm but I can not however be dissuaded from or defunct of my objective. If at the time of my departure the electrochemical bonds securing all constituent elements which make up your fleshant carapice remain intact, it is a strong indication that you wisely chose to remain compliant, which spared an unfortunate introduction to the working end of my Scrotonic Transmorpholizer, and will not be subjected to live out your common timeframes as a shapeless, undulating mass of necrotized flesh-paste. Trust when I say That outcome would place a severe inconvenience on the remainder of your journey through this material plane.
And now to the business at hand-- Any of you who within your narrow neural pathways carry any information that would prove beneficial to my mission I say this- it would behoove you to be as forthright with said information as fleshily possible. Far into the "future" if you haven't yet destroyed yourselves, your entire race of polycellulons may learn that "time" is not linear as you now believe it to be, in simple physical terms you might think of it as spherical and cyclical and notably less important than your current perception. However that particular meta-spacial epiphone is not close by, and regardless of an uncertain future we must presently make haste! The moment for you to shine in selfless compliance is at hand- and as a token of proof of my desire for full cooperation, I extend this offering of vital information: the Data Collection Unit which had so synchronically intermingled with a number of you electronicators affixed himself with a moniker easily recognizable to us to aid in his inevitable retrieval. Perhaps you might recognize it as well. Here, he is known as... SECUTURE! Now- spare yourselves the indignation of necrosticyted scrotonimation and relinquish his whereabouts AT ONCE!!!
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